Sunday, August 23, 2009
Being In the Moment
I've been reading and hearing, and even studying, about being in the moment. I've thought that I'd tried living in the moment hundreds of times, but until I actually accomplished doing so (just a few days ago), I didn't really understand how it worked.
I'm not sure how or why it's taken me so long. I am inclined to say that I just wasn't ready until now. I've had people tell me to be in the moment, and walk me through meditations to help me do so. I've tried techniques and forms of meditations. It just didn't resonate with me. How is it that, after all those attempts, I wasn't able to do that until now?
Though I cannot answer that, I can tell you about my experience of being in the moment. While studying for my Holistic Wellness Specialist certification, I am reading a lot about somatic awareness, and letting go of past traumas. I am hearing all of the things that I've learned in years past, and applying it to asanas (poses) to assist in release and healing.
Traumas may be small (being made fun of as a child), or very big (being abused). The emotional reaction to trauma is fairly specific, and seeing what those reactions are has really helped me to understand the way I've operated in life. Knowing that certain behaviors were misguided attempts at protecting myself is very interesting, and that knowledge allows me to recognize and stop the behaviors. We each control our own responses to life.
At this point in my life, I am in a healthy, loving relationship that is ripe with trust. It's been a progressive, forward moving relationship that has allowed me to grow. I am nothing like the person I was three years ago. Feeling safe and truly loved by my boyfriend has allowed me the freedom to really look at my life, and make honest and necessary changes. He lives in the moment naturally, which provides me with a great role model.
Living in the moment is still, for me, a conscious choice. It's not without thought. I have to constantly remind myself, and I do this whenever I find that I am living in the past, or the future, or in any sort of chaos. This weekend, I paid attention to the raindrops hitting the window, listened to the wind, and gave thanks for my love sleeping beside me. Hearing his breathing as he slept and noticing the blond hair on his tan arms helped me to appreciate that very moment.
I've begun to let go of expectations. When my son was prodding me with questions that I couldn't answer, I just calmly said, "I don't know." When I felt myself getting annoyed, I just focused on my breath. Things became calm quickly.
I'm really aware of the fact that my eating pattern is changing. I am craving more watery foods, like watermelon and salad, and I've noticed that I'm less hungry than I've been. It's still new to me but, perhaps, it's that I am feeling fulfilled emotionally.
I wonder how I might be able to help my clients to live in the moment. I feel that it might be more than application, but a readiness and good timing. I can say, though, that it feels really good and I will continue to remind myself to be in the moment. It's a very peaceful place to be.